Just a Dream or Just Rambling?

Have you ever had one of those dreams that you just had to wake up and write part of it down. I had this dream on Saturday at 3:30 in the morning and it was that time for me. I had woke up from a vary vivid dream and felt led to write about it. Now usually when I have dreams I try to interpret where it may have come from and what it all means, so...

Where did it come from
Maybe it was from conversations with my daughter Friday night before bed about Joseph interpreting the dreams of Pharaoh or maybe it was a minor tiff I may have had with my wife. I say may have because I’m pretty sure last night was not that bad. I staid home with the sleeping kids, ok bailey was awake and I feel asleep watching a movie with her, and Heather went out looking for clothes. I cannot call it shopping because I don’t think she bought anything. Either way we have had arguments before but things have been smooth running for a while now that our financial picture has cleared up a little. More on that at a later time.

The dream (set up)
The dream was set in the future so I’m not sure what that part is about and it was back in Nebraska I think but there were floating rock formations with part of the cities on them. I can only think this is from watching Avatar but I haven’t seen that since it first came out a couple of months ago. No kids were around just parents and we were going to see a movie up on one of these rocks. That’s right the mall was placed on a floating rock. It seamed like nothing was going right for me. At least we had picked up my parents from a job they were on that was years ago before they went out on there own. Oh, I just remembered we had a kid with us at this point because he was getting into everything on this job site. Anyway, that must have been the start of nothing going right, the kid was there on parents night out.

To continue going thru this mall area no one was talking to me and leaving me out of the picture which seams odd because usually in life I’m right in the middle of things when it comes to family, or at least I would like to think I am. This being left out continued all the way. We had to wait in a long ling and then got in and I was left behind while the rest went in to the theater area. And not to brag but man my dreams have some good design skills because that theater was decked out. Arcade, full concessions (these items were free) and it was like a 30 theater multiplex obviously for $4 each. I mean the place was like it was meant for Vegas but it was in central Nebraska.

I digress, my wife wasn’t helping matters either, trying to drag me around getting me to go when she didn’t recognize that I was having problems with one thing or another. Well her attitude made mine turn south and made the situation even worse. I was doing something with my shoes and ended up chasing everyone thru this arcade area to where our theater was. My wife had my ticket and had already gone and left me in the cold. To make this situation worse, this theater was set to have a special exhibit for the movie we were seeing and the lead actor was there. Don’t ask me why because I don’t know but Kevin Bacon was the actor. I don’t know why I threw a big fit on not getting into see him as he’s not that great but I did. Maybe it’s because it was for the experience of doing something new and I was inadvertently dismissed from that possibility or maybe I just wanted to see what the sixth degree of separation was from me to K.Bacon.

Well that was the lighting of the fuse and the bomb was set to go off. While I waited and stewed I could see through the glass that all my friends and family were having a good time with Mr. Bacon, I do like bacon the food, and didn’t even look like they noticed I was gone or was not part of the action. I knew that they new they had my ticket and that I had been yelling for them to wait and I know they heard me so this made me boil even more. When they came out from seeing Bacon is when the Sh$@#ith hittith the fanith in my dream, so to speak. Prior to going into the actual movie the fight breaks out but my dream only sees the first shot of words, which I don’t remember, and that is where I woke up. I’m sure others could imagine a scene where people walk up to someone else in a movie and you know something is about to happen but you’re not sure quiet what it is yet. We'll see if I ever get more of this story but for now.

What does this all mean to me
I mean there is so much In this dream to chew on. So many possible issues that I must need to deal with in my life to have this be so vivid. I’ll write what I think the issues are and their life relevance, why I may need to take care of them, why I may not have taken care of them already and what I need to do to move forward.

• Obviously my wife and I must need a date night. We try to go on these to discuss life issues but maybe we need to go to just enjoy some time together. I mean that is how we got started. Our first official date was to dinner and then the movies in Topeka KS. We had a long drive from Manhattan and we talked and talked which no girl had been able to get me to do up to this point. I remember telling a close friend that after this date that I thought Heather was the one because of this “keeping me talking” fact.
o We use these date nights to look at where we have been recently with issues, we hash out our thoughts and then try to come up with directions or plans for where we want our family to go. We haven’t been on one of these dates without the kids for a while because of financial issues. I take that back two Fridays ago we went out while someone watched the kids but it’s kind of a blur for me as I have had a lot going on in my life with these financial issues.
o Moving forward I know this needs to be a set monthly dates to keep our discussions open and free from kids and open so that all sides can be heard. We tend to go to restaurants and movies but sometimes we venture to parks or for long walks at the beach. Either way other people that we don’t know are usually around so that we don’t start a heated discussion where we might get louder than usual. Now that the financial picture is somewhat set I know we need to shift our focus a little so date night here we come.

• One of the other issues I’m seeing is family time and Nebraska. My family and myself have not been back since last October which is not a big thing but when you have a lot of close cousins and nephews and nieces that your not around all the time you do feel left out or disconnected. I know I use Facebook for this family/social interaction but it’s not the same as truly being there. Then again I’m the one that made the decision to move so pooh on me and I’m the one that has not set aside the time or resources to take a trip back. Oh and picking up the phone, I’m getting better but do I have to be the one to initiate it most of the time?
o Why do I feel like I need to take care of this item. Maybe it’s because I was placed into a family that may need some of my insight and I need theirs. Maybe it’s because we need each other and that the lack of close families and close communities has been something that the world has lost focus on.
o Can I do anything about this, yes I can. I know I need to make more phone calls and to just get off my butt and do it. No one should think he’s entitled to reciprocal starts on trips and phone calls. If that was the case would anything get done around here or in the world. If I do something for you or to you, should I expect the same in return? I'll keep the Golden Rule in mind and shift my paradigm so to speak but I have a feeling that when this is done things may get better.

• Issues and the floating rock: this one is hard but while I was writing I couldn’t help but think about how men love to compartmentalize our thoughts and feelings and I can’t think of a better way of doing that than to separate things into boxes or in this case, floating islands. But why do I bring this up is it an FYI piece or does it have to do with connecting the dots of bigger issues. Lets discuss both.
o There’s an old song that has the line “You got to keep them separated”. For me that’s issues. I know I can’t finish anything if I’m focused on more than one or two items and if I try it usually gets dragged out and done incorrectly. This happens with my projects at home and at work and it is hard to think of how to live like this when I know I can’t keep one item open at all times because other areas may then slip through the cracks. I’ve had this thought in my head for a while now that a dad can’t just simply go to his job be done for the day and not have work left undone at home. This is a bigger issue which deserves more time so I’ll write more about that later. I do believe there should be that on/off switch from work issues in the home to some home/life issues at work but aren’t we all just there to live either way. As my boss says, you can’t have your cake and eat it too. Possible life change coming, don’t know.
o Connecting the dots seams to be a bigger issue. How does my work effect my life and my life effect my work and I’m not just talking about my job. A dad has similar roles in life to the mom but being the head of the household has got to be the most important one. Everything I do is soaked up by those under me (kids, wife, extended family…). Every decision could be life changing or detrimental to all or just one and how do you balance that. How do you safely apply what happens at home to your job and what happens at your job to your life at home. I can tell you I think I will start connecting the dots. When something happens, meditate on it if not for just one minute or before I take the next step. Seek council when I don’t know the answer or if I feel that my mind says it’s right but my heart does not. Something smells fishy, right? Another paradigm shift, maybe. Where’s the happy medium ground?

To wrap it up for now, I guess I just need to simply “get to work”. My past practice of procrastination needs to be shed like the dirty clothes that they are. So here we go. Live life my friends. Together and for others, not yourselves as I know if I live for myself nothing gets done, it is not done the best way that it could have been and will probably get redone by someone bigger.